belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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