ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
