he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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