He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
