She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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