Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
