Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
