Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just tell him i said nine months
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
