so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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