Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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