i wish my penis had a tongue
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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