Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
