she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
