i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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