I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
porn star boner night. come get it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
