Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
