well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
