I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
