i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
