I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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