I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
