I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
