i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
