Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
