So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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