And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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