There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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