come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
