Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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