don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
