Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
