cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
