is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
