escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
