just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
