theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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