Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
