I accidentally had phone sex last night
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
