Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
