I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
