um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
