You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
