Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
