is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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