So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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