I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
