why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
