So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
