i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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