He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
