I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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